


Bloodlust

by onoheiwa



Series: Bloodstained [3]
Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Blood, Blood and Gore, Demon Blood, Gen, Stream of Consciousness, Violence, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 21:37:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6441793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onoheiwa/pseuds/onoheiwa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Weak. Pathetic. Powerless. Frightened. Still a child. I have to become stronger!  </p><p> </p><p>Kurogane's mind from childhood to adulthood, from the desire to protect to the overwhelming need for strength. Trying to make sense of the twisted path his mind went down.</p><p>Third part of the series "Bloodstained" but can be read as a standalone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bloodlust

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PokeChan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PokeChan/gifts).



> Another gift for PokeChan, as I said all the remaining works in this series would be.

_Weak. Pathetic. Powerless. Frightened. Still a child. I have to become stronger!_

 

 _No one else can die. No one else can get hurt. I have to protect them, I can’t fail again! What has all my training been for if not to protect everyone that I care about? What’s the point in having a sword if I can’t use it? Why even bother training if I can’t kill any demons? Useless!_  
  
I have to become stronger! 

_~~~_

_Still weak. Still so weak! Pathetic, weak demons! So easy to kill. Not worth my time, not worth the effort. I have to become stronger!_

_They need me, they need my help. The other warriors fight day-by-day to protect this land and its people. I have to become stronger. No more training, no more practicing, no more drills and dummies and simple, easy, pathetic, weak prey! I want to fight!_

_I have to become stronger! I have to protect everyone! No one else can get hurt, no one else can die. Just those filthy, monstrous, evil demons! They have to die! And I have to become stronger._

_~~~_

_Yes! Yes! Victory! Blood! Black, viscous gore staining my sword and dripping from my hands. Look at all the blood, such beautiful, ugly blood! So much demon filth, all wrought by my blade. So many monsters dead and harmless, never to rise again. Dead, dead, dead! Defeated! I killed them all, split them in two and protected the border by the blood spilt on the ground._

_More, more! Let them come! Let them taste steel and fear! Let my sword slice them open and cleave them apart! Let them all come. Let them all die. Their deaths will make me stronger, each monster I slay will bring me strength._

_I will defeat all my enemies, I will become stronger and no one will stop me!_

_I need to become stronger!_

_~~~_

_Too easy. All to easy. This prey is weak, these demons are weak, these men are weak. All of them die so easily, so quickly. All fall to my blade. Enemies with black blood, enemies with red blood. Human. Monster. All die, all bleed so readily for my Silver Dragon._

_Weak! At least give me a challenge! At least make it difficult for me! I can’t become stronger like this! Stronger! Stronger! I need to become stronger!_

_~~~_

_Die! All of you are worthless! All of you are weak! Pathetic! Simpering like children and falling like flowers in a storm! All of you are weak!_

_What happened to the strength of the warriors? Where did all your power go? I spent my whole life admiring this? Spent so many years seeking strength from you? Weak!_

_Fight me! Give me a battle worthy of my Silver Dragon! Make me fight for victory, make it a challenge, a struggle! Make me bleed!_

_Kill me if you can you useless men. I want to see you try. I want to see you fight in vain, winging your sword till your arms grow weary, using all your strength to the very end when I cut you down and take your life and become even stronger for defeating you. I want to see you bleed._

_The Silver Dragon will eat your flesh and drink your blood. I will feast on my victory! I will cut you down and watch you die, watch you bleed. I am the strongest warrior that ever lived!_

_So just die, all of you! Fall before me and bow to my blade! I want to become stronger!_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really sure where this one came from. It started from the desire to see a fight through Kurogane's eyes, but I have never quite understood the idea of bloodlust. I ended up sitting back and closing my eyes, imagining myself in Kurogane's shoes from childhood to adulthood, imaging the mental progression that he would have gone through after the trauma of his parent's death and how that would have instilled an unquenchable need to be strong enough to protect everyone and everything and how, unchecked and unexamined, it could have begun to morph into something ugly and dangerous, which is what we see in his introduction - a man nearly consumed with a desire for strength. One who has almost forgotten what he wants that strength for. 
> 
> So instead of trying to understand that bloodlust and trying to write that, first I just wrote out that mental journey as best as I could. This is the result.
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](onoheiwa.tumblr.com).


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